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May 28th, 2008

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January 24th, 2006

06:44 pm - Who can fathom the abyss? “Vanity of vanity, all is vanities!” wailed an ancient preacher millennia ago. “For all his toil under the sun, what does Man gain by it?” It is imperative that we 21st Century moderns ask ourselves this very same question, for we suffer existentially now as he and his contemporaries suffered existentially then. Today, we are terrified and awed by natural cataclysms, one after the other, too immense for the mind to calculate and too gut-wrenching for the heart to withstand: Indonesia and Sri Lanka swept away by the waters which swept away all that Noah knew and loved; Pakistan obliterated by the shuddering earth which crumbled Jericho; and New Orleans wrecked by winds as Tarshish was, and then ravaged by riots and fire as Sodom and Gomorrah were. Undoubtedly, more death and heartache is to come. Why? This is the question all of us, be we wealthy, middle class, working class, or poor, must ask: for what purpose do we struggle, day after day after day, when tomorrow all we have achieved could be extinguished, decimated to blood and tears and dust, eradicated to nothing? As a spiritual man, the unrelenting sorrow of our era tempts me to close my eyes and peer inwardly. Yet, I am also a young man heady and full of himself, and so I do not look inward; instead, I look skyward. And I see: stars. The universe is vast. Endless as a dream, more everlasting than a passionate kiss: here is where I live. Not in the busy tumult of my job, nor the furies and quiet desperations of my ambitions, nor even the happy memories and secret pities in my mind, but here, in this universe, this incredible, immense, intricate universe, this cosmos of smashing atoms and quivering wavelengths and exploding stars and swirling black holes, I exist—we exist! And in this vast universe, what are we? Specks. Of what importance are we specks? Simply, why are we? Humanity’s scriptures teach that our species is important to the mysterious Divinity that rules the universe, for it has sent us many revelators: Abraham, Moses, Jesus, Muhammad, the Buddha, Confucius; and it has intervened in our affairs, though less and less conspicuously with every passing generation. Why are we important? I dare say because we are alive: breathing, breeding, organic life. Without us, God would be alone in a universe that is essentially dead—not inactive, for at any moment particles are colliding and galaxies are spinning, but essentially inorganic, unthinking, unfeeling, and most all, without spirit, uncreative. Without us, it is truly an abyss. However, despite heavenly and human desires for the contrary, logically we cannot be of ultimate importance. The cosmos are too great and intricate for us to be the Divine’s sole consideration. Indeed, many astrophysicists theorize that billions of years hence, the universe (which is ever-expanding) shall either tear itself apart or cool, slow down into a never-ending torpor, and perpetually decompose. To me, this makes the most sense, for it is clearly evident that everything ends, and everything rots. It’s a sad and sadly beautiful thought that at the end of all-that-is, God, the Eternal One, shall remain. Perhaps we shall become the cosmic smoke that halos its head; perhaps we just won’t be anymore. Either way, some heartbreaking finality seems inevitable. So now I turn away from the stars, look around and see: we toil in a doomedly righteous obscurity. When all is said and done, what each of us can truly establish are our influences. Step into a stream and you forever change its course. Certainly its general meandering shan’t immediately alter, but who knows which drops of water your foot stole shall now never quench which root’s thirst; and after some time, which riverbank shall be weaker because of that forgotten root’s withering; and after more time, a storm and that riverbank’s collapse, which direction the stream shall finally flow? It is not for us to determine how our efforts shall individually or collectively unfold over the eons, but we must act in the faith that somehow we shall effect the universe. How we effect the universe—destructive or generative, however infinitesimal—depends upon whether we act righteously while we still can. So go join a protest, feed a homeless man, listen to a hurting friend, even if tomorrow all civilization may burn. Be kind, be just, and most of all, love.

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July 11th, 2005

08:56 pm - London shall endure "The city will endure. It's the future of our world. Tolerance and change." --Ken Livingstone, Mayor of London Lord, how are they increased that trouble me! Many are they that rise against me. Many there be which say of my soul, "There is no hope for him in God." Selah. But thou, O Lord, art a shield for me; my glory, and the lifter up of mine head. I cried unto the Lord with my voice, and he heard me out of his holy hill. Selah. I laid me down and slept; I awaked; for the Lord sustained me. I will not be afraid of ten thousands of people that have set themselves against me round about. --Psalms 3.1-5 An old SOAS buddy of mine, Daniel Rathwell, writes to me: London is back to normal. Yesterday half a million people showed up outside Buckingham Palace to mark the 60th anniversary of WWII. It was only 60 years ago that this city was being bombed daily and people were seeking refuge in the tube stations and underground tunnels. La meme chose... On Saturday night, after finishing work at the National Theatre where I am a bartender, I watched a circus with stiltwalkers, acrobats and a live band performing and playing right outside the theatre by the Thames where Waterloo Bridge crosses it. Cate Blanchett was watching too. I saw the guy who played Hamlet in the recent Royal Shakespeare Company performance. My friend Mahsa came and met me and we decided to walk along the Queen's Walk. We got half a block. We were distracted by skateboarders, police helicopters overhead, and a spontaneous outdoor rave on a sandy alcove created by the Thames' low tide. My point is: London is the greatest human city and the most extraordinary resilient one.

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July 7th, 2005

02:14 pm - London terror blasts "May there be abundant peace from Heaven and life and plenty, salvation and consolation, redemption and healing, forgiveness and pardon, freedom and safety for us..." --from the Kadish di-Rabanan "Lo, I am with you always, even unto the end of the world." --Jesus, the Gospel according to Matthew 28.20 Every soul shall have a taste of death, and We test you by evil and by good by way of trial. To Us must ye return. -- God, the Qur`an 21.35 [Click the map for a Q&A] London has been attacked. Four terror attacks on London's transport network leave more than 30 dead and several hundreds injured and frightened. Click here to read a chronology of the attacks. Specific information is still pending, such as who the terrorists were (a group called the Secret Organisation Group of al-Qaeda [literally, "the base"] of Jihad Organisation in Europe has claimed responsibility) or how they carried out their attack. This is not the first (nor, unfortunately, shall it probably be the last) time that London has been a target of terrorism. God-willing, this attack won't be as devastating as the March 11th, 2004 train attacks in Madrid, Spain. The attacks occurred very near to the School of Oriental and African Studies, where I attended (and shall return this September) and where Ben currently attends. He and I are attempting to learn if all our friends are alright.

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July 6th, 2005

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